Eruch Jessawalla - No Man's Land
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She has to go through the courts. So first perhaps it was good. It was necessary for me to find out the difference between the atmosphere here and the atmosphere there because it was good Papa has given me experience. But as soon as I get my money, I'll turn and I think three or four days after we received a letter and were going to gain walks with the crowd and not only she was here, but then she coaxed
Her mother into Cummings saying that India India mama, you should know what India is like beautiful scene beautiful sights and all that and Taj Mahal and she went the show the mother all the sites in Brooklyn. All right, she remained for the Unworthy and both Legend.
Such as the miracle of the vacant chair it is like that and then she came again and 330 many other bubble hours and then she came in once again and convert to another lot about
Like a woman balls balls balls through the heart nothing pouring but boring reading of this letter we are they should will break of 10 minutes because program begins your clock. Oh, there's a program. You can see Google you're going to play today.
Yes.
It's addressed to money Irani at the trust office dear Mom and Ali. It seems such a long time ago that I was with you one of the date October 12th 1974.
It's from Amber going Ananda ashram pondicherry.
Your monthly it seems such a long time ago that I was with you all and I'm at Naga they keep us very busy here. Hence. I feel as though I've been here for years.
I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was to me to have met you all and how grateful I am to Baba for bringing me to ahmednagar when he didn't being with you all in learning about Baba has been the most beautiful experience of my life. I can't thank you all enough. You're loving patience and understanding.
Baba has made such an immense difference to my life my whole outlook toward the yoga has changed unbelievably I really have no heart and soul here at all. In fact, I find it very hard to identify with anything that's going on here. I was amazed at the difference in the whole atmosphere here having arrived from amid Naga. They seem to have buried the word love deep in the ground replacing it with what they call discipline the seems to be enforced by
The partial negative shouting all day long.
I'm very glad though that I have come here so that I'm able to see for myself yoga for what it really is or my mind may have tortured me with some crazy romantic ideas about it. However, I'm hoping to be back in Nobunaga for January and February. If not before I would probably be back with you now, except the Swami does not refund money inside since I don't have anymore. It means I must wait until I can get some from England. I will certainly somehow get back to him at Naga.
I leave the longer. I hold out here the better my chances of being able to be with you all for January 31st. So it's all in Bob's hands and by his grace. I look forward to being with you all again. Love to all demand Ali Baba's love and we're going to love and by the end of October. She was here. She received money from my mother.
That is it. So now there's a gray creases this door.
Must have an end someday and so forth and so on and sure enough did Dawn and when he he cited the two cabins on the hill there.
Having just sit here while we were returning in the face of modern. Uh, so let's go and rest over there for the night. We are still wandering.
So we went up there and we stayed to sometimes it's sure it means I don't know how long he's going to stay there but mind are saying that it's good to be back.
Familiar Place although Connecticut. I'm down the hill and go up the hill and all that cause stress and strain in mind you but still the horse felt as if he's returning to the stable when you know when the horse although is so tired when he is about to return to the stable. He gets more energy this park is there so that's how it was and then the building the two cabins were to be brought down and then he work here and he completed his work and to his son.
Does satisfaction so this guide horse? He decides a relief didn't I lovely but the sirens and the most cessation of all activities for a couple of days or three days or something like that. I forget now the number of this but there was and it was such a Heavenly feeling, you know.
That relief from all the treasures Jason Shane and then I could relax for sometime. It meant that now Manoj means the end of annihilation of that mind, you know Monash phase 3, did you come to him with us that day you can so that the plug-in Baba said now you continue to stay there that can be the cabin that was made.
And I say this because nice feel rested after three days. He says, you know now I decided to go to the West this is now January January is this month? Yeah, right 52 52 and very shortly. I'll be going to the west and you you prepared to come with me.
You have to come with me.
It was a shock to me. This is didn't know when he's going to go. He's going to be prepared to go to the men's size. Spontaneously said Baba, please excuse me, I won't be able to go with you in the west this point. You should come with me. This body will not be able to bear. This Jason's chain. I will be Justin drag. You'll have to drag me.
Wherever you go suck no use taking me. Like I said, it's all a record run who felt that it could carry him piggyback all over the mountains. I had to admit that.
Who said no, no, you have to come with me. I want you to come so I said no, I'm not going I don't want to I can do what I tell you to a good come with me. It was surprised for him. He expressed surprise but never have I said this before 3852 is how many years?
For 14 years
So after a while after some one or two three days, he didn't say anything again. It says I'm telling you you have to prepare for going to the West you'll have to come with me. So I'm not going to not going to go.
Yes, kept quiet after three or four days one afternoon late afternoon. He's saying his here and said he had to go to the West now, I believe me. Now. This is the third time I'm telling you to prepare. I can't it's impossible for me. I'll be a drag daughter, please. Pardon me. I can't go. I'm already shaking Within Myself. I can't I know my nerves are all those this is no I wanted to go I said I can't
Then you get out from you. He said, you know, if you can't go his first the sense of you're still living with me. You don't want you don't want to obey me you just leave.
I said I rather prefer to leave you then he had dragged and go along with you and all that. I don't want to be right.
The only does saying he got up from the chair and went away.
It was time for him to leave she went away. So I went to my cabin where he had put me and lava told me to leave so I must leave.
So initially I was prepared to leaner. So I started.
Collecting my wedding whatever d'amigo building. That was the one blanket on one pillow and one bed sheet and while I'm rolling their the blanket, I found that it was given to me by him. How can I take it just take it out but everything started coming up using becoming more and more line making me aware that all this has been given to me by God I discarded that I went and look at the pig there was a jacket and one pajama was hang.
Perhaps you'd given me some time back and I can't take that. So that's discarded. You see nothing was the that room was empty room at the time not so much of junk that is now accumulated because of you all are so sweet and nice.
So
Then I thought about myself. Is that going to go this week? But my life seeing this this all of this was given by him. So then I thought came to my mind. I have to discard these clothes also and go by myself make it.
But how could I go and still like this? It is Not Dark Yet. How will I be able to go out like that? We're really thinking yeah, it's not proper for me to do like this. What will people think about it says still let it be little bit dark and then I will leave the place and go.
So I was sitting there waiting for putting my time all of a sudden it dawned upon me. Let's prove will go I am his how can I take myself? How will I be able to take myself which is not mine. What will happen now? How will I go at all? It was a die? Lemon of honey. I couldn't get out of this.
And when it's strep.
You've done this sort of thing is it's the Taj game started coming like that. All of a sudden. I hear somebody knocking at the door. There's a message from Bob arrest open. So I opened yes. What is it? This is Bobby wants you to have a good night's rest tonight. Keep here take food and sleep next morning. He will decide your funeral.
So when I went to eat my food had good sleep because food and sleep are really so far. They have been my constant companions make it very faithful.
And no amount of all the skin ever debar me from having a good meal or a good sleep easy it is so I had good meal good the next morning before the activity start here. Somebody brings a type sheet of paper in which he had typed out things. I don't know when you got it type. And that was the regular tour of the country all by myself and painted would be helping me.
In my journey, and when I had told us I had to go and tell people about his message of Love and Truth all over the country.
The my mind starts thinking now. So is this the way isn't it Galas? He knew that I am so tired. I didn't opt to go with him. It would have been easier for you to be with him then to go all alone like this and all over the country and do what and say what and give what what message is that we give I haven't spoken a word you see about his message or anything of the sort. I am not a speaker or saying anything like that. What?
I do so I read the cynical smile on my face. Is he this is how he keeps us.
I just kept quiet mean anything to you at the dad seemed like a worse fate worst fear of any more exhausting together for you and that he has made a mention that well. He'll give 1000 rupees to me and 1002 can do to cover up the traveling expenses. But I had to find food from those who will be our host and if they compared the pair's the railway or bus fares on think we have to accept that other than the
Not to touch money or in this earth and some other things were there to contact the Saints and must know that song.
It was good. It's not good. Not a happy friend. Yeah alternative not at all on the contrary. It was a rather cruel one. So I kept quiet and I was Baba came and I was here at the old man Ali Baba looked at me and said did you read that I said yes to do that noun no more Nos and yess is your just do that. That's final.
And I'm the one to interpret and I'm the one to listen.
So instead I didn't say anything just keep quiet. He sat down and hold her and as usual chats were there. No them after a while said did you read properly digging will stay us take it and see it son I said, yes, but I don't know what to do. You're asking me to go out in the country. But what should I do? Did you not read conscious read?
Hear you say that give my message of love and truth. I don't know what love and truth is God blessed in that. I don't know all these years. Were you living with me with your eyes shut and your shirt. Well, you're not yours open your eyes were open. Did you not see?
When should I don't know I know not. I know I don't know how to say anything. We didn't say anything some days passed by then. He said why are you feeling worried time? In the meantime? I try to read his because I had never had read this courses or rankings of so first and foremost most important thing is to find out the books. We didn't have any books here what to say now going before the public were to say and touring all over the country.
In how to draw or not Hindi was in a dilemma to because he was there at Mira Bai he was manager Lee so he had more chance of going out in the world. He was teaching at one place only chance that I had was to travel with him all over the country. But new life was the one that came were gonna burn our new life was quite different from this life that Baba wants us to lead now. This is a very difficult thing.
It's a penguin I start thinking of what to do and when to has no worry because he has not to speak. He has to only help me. Yeah, I don't know what help he had Baba had in mind but he was a great help to me. No doubt. So all that happened and I was once sitting here. This is why do you feel so worried about it first, but I don't know what I should say. You want me to go. Alright, I will go I accepted that I will go but what will I do?
He said all the kids do is to just get up and speak. I said I know but what to speak what to say all the way to do is to get up and think of me and tell me that you want me to speak now you speak and that's that's what he had to do.
Tell me that you want he tells me all that you to do is to get up.
And say you didn't myself that Baba you want me to speak so you stu.
That's all so I thought that these were words of comfort and I said well who's going to refute him his statement and the I just kept quiet.
So it went on months dragged and and he did go he did go to the west and that day we went out when doing myself to set out going out in the country. That's the story.
And you must have been just in your 30s in at that time. Probably paint and third 5216 Soul be my peace.
20 how much is it? I am a mathematician. Yeah might be 3333 know if it is 30 years ago and I am 65 now 35 so so you didn't you didn't go. No, I didn't go to the rez.
It worked. All right, I mean you just go to wherever you're Gathering. You just think love bother you speaking here and just let it flow. Let it happen the I don't know what I say, but it was good that candy was with me that it will be 2 o'clock in the night and I would be still speaking and it pulls away already see what's time is yours. Oh, yes and then him tell the other people see what are you doing? What do you all want now the crowds with you?
The program will be offered and house visits will be there and many many things happen. I'm just be yeah, but but I spoke. I don't know.
But it seemed to appeal them. I don't know what what was to happen. I don't know but one thing that is one thing that struck me most was that wherever we went we were received right royally strangest parts of the country will be Bobble beginning didn't know they had not seen baba baba was there in those places, but we were all Incognito, but he had already prepared the ground everything was
You won't believe that we are we were not allowed to use the regular toilet vessels, you know, you know because the cleaners sites you see at the time after the toilets. We were given best of the ornamented silver was was has on vessels to wash our Fannie's you things and the place that will lead. We were just Wonderstruck. What is all this?
And if I were to say some things in the meeting was held at about six o'clock say there's a public meeting done stealing. I don't know what I'm speaking and next morning. Somebody comes is here is here is what you had said a booklet printed booklet.
What did I say? Is there anything worthwhile that you printed? So these are the things but it's all his glory it reflects his glory. That's all but it's nothing. I don't have I spoken since this became a steady having people that I didn't carry all this you have no idea of her moods at the time. That's why you are asking this question. Anybody would want or give me a copy?
Who the hell cares for the copy? You see you? Okay, that's what he did. He was so tired so exhausted and we be never left alone and eventually pain do remonstrances. What is this? What are you trying to do with us? Is this the way that you want us we have to go to the next state is another place. He sees you people are already there to take us now. How will be going to o'clock in the night says? Yes. Yes, doesn't we are sorry about it. Come on now you are.
All go the hosts would say me and you go to sleep. Yo D are not sleeping. You're talking about Baba. They're asking things about Bob many things all all this that you are asking is not there, but it was in a different different facets were asked not about sex or marriage or this or that it's all on the street in India is here but different thing so that's how it is.
At the same time but same same enthusiasm same Curiosities same expectancy of wanting to hear more and more and this and that is something thing. So then the host would drive the people out exorcism peaceful Paisley need them to restaurants varies over time now to and then I haven't been to the bathroom years I had
You can tell you a funny thing later on if you count so what happened is that now we are relaxing so we have a little time.
I belong been doing grumbled a knife and he says you always take time and you do know that I I don't I want to sleep. You see why don't you wind up early and very sharp. The thing is if I don't know can do I don't mind you are with me. You should help me. I don't know anything what's happening, you know, and that would be always this tussles. Is it is for you to stop I am going to start. I don't know what I'd never begin and I never end. It's still with me. It's with you and so forth so that we are coming.
After all this hassle that is there amongst us in Gujarati and you can very easily we ask these people this is there's a brother brother. This is for you to sleep on you see and her brother pending will sleep there in a halt when we had given the talk. They would start out nice cushions and other pillows would be there and then who's going to sleep here?
Well, I would love to be in you in between you both wonderful and then I realized I had made my head there and he's there with his arm up. The then what happened after that was the again we go. It was really very once it so happened which a thought came to her mind. We were in there are doing and people
The people they they have taken a step far of Village some distant Village. I don't know where red we had reached that place at nine o'clock in the morning.
So there was a talk you wanted to hear what bothers so I gave I gave that talk whatever. They wanted to hear. And after the talk at about said 12:30 or 1 o'clock. Somebody come we are here at was summertime and we were made to stay up the Terrace, you know Terraces are there since you climbed up and it said one at least one night will be a nice night in the air. It's summertime. It's open under the sky. And so
Reminded us of a new life and all that and then what happened is that as we settle down on a car somebody comes up the steps with a brass pot. I am he begs up us to drink this hot milk and said dear you have no no thirst no appetite now because they are dad, you know, I don't know when we are taken our supper already. Very pure taken me again. I'd completely forgotten. This is no please I have come with great. Love for Bob Hope.
In the name of Mary Bubba, please drink it.
Then Deluxe and I look all right, give us those performance. We didn't have hiding have been to and man is so happy and he leaves then we of course want to Lyle no brakes and we are about to go to sleep.
And he slept but we couldn't sleep long because we get a great urge to for a toilet and he hasn't forgotten to ask those people where the toilets are you see now where to go and we can't go on sitting on the Terrace or itself until we just hurry and tend to have you gotten torture and seek attention. I can't hold anymore and I can't hold anymore - yeah.
And uh this this ball full half I took in half in with them. I'm here to find this and I still remember the great personalities having come from the godman are running from the season did not Evacuate the whole thing and he's a great Thunder. You see the hole then we went down crawling for some Stone to clean the place you see and
That's how he came that. And that was a kid. I see you right there all night. Yes even did he had no teeth with that love. So that's what happens. Love true. Love is that forces here till such time in the meantime, we were there. I don't know how many months nine months. I think what happened was the Baba met with accident to make in so my
Other related snooze three people to us. My father knew that this is there to give the address Kendall was the one who correspond to the high didn't have any time or anything or inclination. So my father cabled the mother make it serious accident. That was the only thing and that was the time when I was in amateur at the time. She was in the midst of a crowd. I heard the cable just passed it on to pain do that song.
And I continued as soon as I was meeting then Tick Tock would be over. So it was also because I announced it will we have to leave this place and we are going back to mehrabad. I didn't know what to do. We didn't have any heart to go further in the meantime pain to fill in a journey and I had to take him straight to the hospital in Pune and eventually after some days of treatment we came back.
He couldn't read over the stone in his kidney that his passing was giving the train passed through the ureter and we don't and when we return there's another cable here. I want you to go back and continue with the event again, that's how it will be continued till he came he came he returned to India and be at return to later. There was another very sensitive that the understanding was then when
We came back by the said well after some days of the bzees to know that we were tired exhausted and he said no prepared a chart from very young but I got a Bible not to was going through all that to this chart as big as this blanket Earth completely forgotten about it will be prepared that whole thing.
I had sharp memory at the time. So Bob was sitting on the floor and then you take this place and that place enough. He chalked out his items from the chart and then we went out with bird. That was the fire if you like that so that the end of it then we traveled all over the country with the same route that you just taken not same route same places that Hema he selected already big cities and small.
Small villages and whatever he wanted.
Yes, honey, tell you and he told you to go because like genuinely angry like that is the impression you got ya know how fast you better get out from Bobby go return this back and
Still I'm here. I'm wondering what crime have I committed that to be he is what are His blessings or what? Is that make that I have become the SWAT teams instead of being a Seeker here. It means that why am I here? I don't know.
It's not who am I but why am I here is the question for me?
We see I'm telling you genuinely.
So that's a story about that occasion never ever make reference to any say that again. I mean about them, you know you that did he didn't say why she come with me to America and every time
The thought did occur to me much. Hope he didn't say anything when I became the driver here in and satara while we are going down that road. Then you go to Bangalore you go by car.
You haven't been by car. You have to cross through cetera to go to Bangalore body you go by play here. But if I ever you happen to go by car you come across the site where the accident took place. Yeah, so when we accidentally kicked the thought occurred to me, why was he so insistent?
I'm a great the first passing 13. I may be wrong, but it's hot when you ask that question. I should have gone through. Maybe this would have been a while.
It's a silly thing on my part to say that but if maybe you had to have an accident with him and something is there maybe this could have been avoided I didn't know what was going through your mind when?
Cynthia Bibles and giving water to come to the United States with wanted you to come here and yet we're not able to Elena I wasn't able to be this is this instead of just totally so yeah, it was not not Disobedience, but pleading that I may not be dragged over. There is just Why does he want a person who is about to die? You see if you're trying to tell
Him to flight now, how will it be? So it was my duty to tell him that I'm I'm not able able to go. I didn't even count that this what you call the stigma of Disobedience there that it was just open confession that I am unable to go. It's not possible.
You have to really been in a state of yes. It was total exhaustion. The Eric you said you thought is this how he treats us. You said that you thought that but was there ever any answer to that question which is this how when you think is that you said you read the thing? Oh, this is how this house which have
In the mind today at that time it was at that time it was and on the day. I received the thought they'd come to me see how he knows that I am exhausted and yet he gives me this strange Journey throughout the country. Is there any ever seen any paint also that something is there any answer to that?
Any answer to Norms is a kind of ritual is it? Yeah. Just what is the answer? He didn't hear anyone say yeah, that's how he wants to be cheated. He wants to treat us that he wants he wants his way.
You say even more painting at times did in the latter part of the new life. You said you were even fainting top right to that. God did that did happen. We went in this blue bus. I was driving the bus. So we went over that stretch of Creator to towards greater or Balochistan Hindu Kush mountains.
Isn't all that correct. So at the time while it had 22 punctures mind, you just bus and there was nobody to help you with all the compliment over there of women over there. Nobody there to help the tide had to be removed had to be repaired you are you are an idea.
This Gator but bombers traveling in a smaller car Elizabeth was driving that so when Bobby would naturally the bus couldn't go with this bus heavily loaded bus and how is it possible for it to keep Pace with the car? So once I still remember when we were going through the mountain pass because the past nine with the height was so great that I think there was like you got 55 or 56
Smiles that had to be Travis as the starter 6 o'clock in the morning and he's there at six o'clock in the evening comes down and Bob are gone ahead and you're waiting for us and the car won't go always in the first second year is the first year and sold under a lot of hurdles. They were no Bridges. We are going to No Man's Land. It was just a military improvised track that they had made for the special General.
Just immediately escapable here or there you see so we are traversing that terrain with that that time bar got so upset to see what's the matter, don't you? Wow, how is it I said, wow, this is a big buzz it cannot tell you he never stopped anywhere. So at that time after all these names and functions will be there are many things happen. So when we arrived at quitter girl's father had made arrangements because he was a resident of the plane.
Has nice talk about who were trying to long time. So many days it took the best of me. Did we start from Montana? And he went right across the No Man's Land wake up. So at last we are doing all of a sudden Bauer says he wants to be created cable descent from Creator to imagine America by for those who are here wanting to know what happened to us.
Did he have arrived safely? So he is asking me to take the dictation. So I'm with paper and pencil in standing there and taking this and I don't know what happened. I just fell down and soon the any butter, then they'll of course maybe help me and all that. So that was the time when he said he was aware about my exhaustion at that time things.
And he knew we can deliver once I get totally got blind totally fly total blindness Came Upon me totally spent.
Lights showing the dolls and the Dodge was focused somewhere else. This is what's the matter with you? Why don't you pinpoint it? That's how you talk amongst ourselves. Don't you see that? I'm doing this year and I said, I don't know. I can't see anything. What do you want? See anything? Can't you focus it properly I said earlier. I lost my side. I don't know what she came for things giving Bobby.
And then lately and made me sit on a sofa and then there was pin drop silence. I still remember silence and then after about 15 minutes graduate division came back. I mean you think I was just from a state of exhaustion. I don't know. I don't know but sometimes it does happen doctor donkey was there he does happen eccentricities of body? Excuse me for the interruption.
Lexi has come from Pune broad kj/kg that she didn't get it every year. So make sure it takes him and inquired whether some of you want to go to Pune they live in Texas day if you want yourself. Yes if you don't know Susie.
So such a hazard you see of a life.
But he also is just imagine if such a thing could happen to a youngster as I am. I bald at the time he was older than I was at the time who was born in 1896. This is 14. I was born in 1916 for 20 years older than I am.
Exhaustion. So what about his travel that he wanted to travel or anything like that to tell you the truth? You see see what happens is the how he suffers for our sake to give you a picture means he didn't scare himself. So we were very short of funds of the time by these are going we had gone some Faraway place there. And for summertime the heat was too great and he have the time what had happened was.
That we had engaged a bullock cart and it took about ten duties for us to be driven by the goal of karbala to a distant Village of about 16 or 18 miles. I forget the exact number but it was between 15 18 15 16 18 like that. So we were driven and paid the money and the terrain will Terrible Terror. It was not a regular Bullock Cart Road and the ups and downs.
And all that and there he had left off the bullet car because Bob has contacted them us. Then we went inside the farms and the seller to search out the mus. So after he had finished that now see our Lord says and we are thirsty. We are tired exhausted and he said look we have got only this much money.
We can utilize it in either way that you want. He's asking us the four of us, whether if we walk the distance, then we can have a nice cool drink even soft drinks sir. But we call Sharp upon rosewater and sweet City water and ice and all that sort of thing. But week if we walk the distance as mind you that late in my the 16 miles whatever it is, but if we go in and pull up card, then nothing will come.
Portable me, which would you prefer will money's there? You have to utilize which way and what did be opted for because we will be wanted ice cold water in the Lord walk all that distance.
I didn't realize at that time around what I am trying to tell you all can meet you all that. He never said himself he rocked with us. Yeah, draal that he didn't care for that soft drink water or the the sharbat has befall it, but he walked all the distance.
It was too late for us when we realized at that time for years together. It didn't dawn upon us. But this incident is still alive it some other all these things get resurrected after October when the time comes she's looking back on the China exhausted less than that.
Looking worse. Yeah. Yeah. Listen all you have all this comes up because it's like you're all the it becomes lying and then we learned lessons from now so that just for a sweet glass sweet dream. You made the Lord walk all the time and he accepted. All right, let's go then let's warm it. Is he still having the comfort of umbilical?
Carly a few times that anyone has ever said the comfort of a book
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Eruch Jessawalla - No Man's Land
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She has to go through the courts. So first perhaps it was good. It was necessary for me to find out the difference between the atmosphere here and the atmosphere there because it was good Papa has given me experience. But as soon as I get my money, I'll turn and I think three or four days after we received a letter and were going to gain walks with the crowd and not only she was here, but then she coaxed
Her mother into Cummings saying that India India mama, you should know what India is like beautiful scene beautiful sights and all that and Taj Mahal and she went the show the mother all the sites in Brooklyn. All right, she remained for the Unworthy and both Legend.
Such as the miracle of the vacant chair it is like that and then she came again and 330 many other bubble hours and then she came in once again and convert to another lot about
Like a woman balls balls balls through the heart nothing pouring but boring reading of this letter we are they should will break of 10 minutes because program begins your clock. Oh, there's a program. You can see Google you're going to play today.
Yes.
It's addressed to money Irani at the trust office dear Mom and Ali. It seems such a long time ago that I was with you one of the date October 12th 1974.
It's from Amber going Ananda ashram pondicherry.
Your monthly it seems such a long time ago that I was with you all and I'm at Naga they keep us very busy here. Hence. I feel as though I've been here for years.
I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was to me to have met you all and how grateful I am to Baba for bringing me to ahmednagar when he didn't being with you all in learning about Baba has been the most beautiful experience of my life. I can't thank you all enough. You're loving patience and understanding.
Baba has made such an immense difference to my life my whole outlook toward the yoga has changed unbelievably I really have no heart and soul here at all. In fact, I find it very hard to identify with anything that's going on here. I was amazed at the difference in the whole atmosphere here having arrived from amid Naga. They seem to have buried the word love deep in the ground replacing it with what they call discipline the seems to be enforced by
The partial negative shouting all day long.
I'm very glad though that I have come here so that I'm able to see for myself yoga for what it really is or my mind may have tortured me with some crazy romantic ideas about it. However, I'm hoping to be back in Nobunaga for January and February. If not before I would probably be back with you now, except the Swami does not refund money inside since I don't have anymore. It means I must wait until I can get some from England. I will certainly somehow get back to him at Naga.
I leave the longer. I hold out here the better my chances of being able to be with you all for January 31st. So it's all in Bob's hands and by his grace. I look forward to being with you all again. Love to all demand Ali Baba's love and we're going to love and by the end of October. She was here. She received money from my mother.
That is it. So now there's a gray creases this door.
Must have an end someday and so forth and so on and sure enough did Dawn and when he he cited the two cabins on the hill there.
Having just sit here while we were returning in the face of modern. Uh, so let's go and rest over there for the night. We are still wandering.
So we went up there and we stayed to sometimes it's sure it means I don't know how long he's going to stay there but mind are saying that it's good to be back.
Familiar Place although Connecticut. I'm down the hill and go up the hill and all that cause stress and strain in mind you but still the horse felt as if he's returning to the stable when you know when the horse although is so tired when he is about to return to the stable. He gets more energy this park is there so that's how it was and then the building the two cabins were to be brought down and then he work here and he completed his work and to his son.
Does satisfaction so this guide horse? He decides a relief didn't I lovely but the sirens and the most cessation of all activities for a couple of days or three days or something like that. I forget now the number of this but there was and it was such a Heavenly feeling, you know.
That relief from all the treasures Jason Shane and then I could relax for sometime. It meant that now Manoj means the end of annihilation of that mind, you know Monash phase 3, did you come to him with us that day you can so that the plug-in Baba said now you continue to stay there that can be the cabin that was made.
And I say this because nice feel rested after three days. He says, you know now I decided to go to the West this is now January January is this month? Yeah, right 52 52 and very shortly. I'll be going to the west and you you prepared to come with me.
You have to come with me.
It was a shock to me. This is didn't know when he's going to go. He's going to be prepared to go to the men's size. Spontaneously said Baba, please excuse me, I won't be able to go with you in the west this point. You should come with me. This body will not be able to bear. This Jason's chain. I will be Justin drag. You'll have to drag me.
Wherever you go suck no use taking me. Like I said, it's all a record run who felt that it could carry him piggyback all over the mountains. I had to admit that.
Who said no, no, you have to come with me. I want you to come so I said no, I'm not going I don't want to I can do what I tell you to a good come with me. It was surprised for him. He expressed surprise but never have I said this before 3852 is how many years?
For 14 years
So after a while after some one or two three days, he didn't say anything again. It says I'm telling you you have to prepare for going to the West you'll have to come with me. So I'm not going to not going to go.
Yes, kept quiet after three or four days one afternoon late afternoon. He's saying his here and said he had to go to the West now, I believe me. Now. This is the third time I'm telling you to prepare. I can't it's impossible for me. I'll be a drag daughter, please. Pardon me. I can't go. I'm already shaking Within Myself. I can't I know my nerves are all those this is no I wanted to go I said I can't
Then you get out from you. He said, you know, if you can't go his first the sense of you're still living with me. You don't want you don't want to obey me you just leave.
I said I rather prefer to leave you then he had dragged and go along with you and all that. I don't want to be right.
The only does saying he got up from the chair and went away.
It was time for him to leave she went away. So I went to my cabin where he had put me and lava told me to leave so I must leave.
So initially I was prepared to leaner. So I started.
Collecting my wedding whatever d'amigo building. That was the one blanket on one pillow and one bed sheet and while I'm rolling their the blanket, I found that it was given to me by him. How can I take it just take it out but everything started coming up using becoming more and more line making me aware that all this has been given to me by God I discarded that I went and look at the pig there was a jacket and one pajama was hang.
Perhaps you'd given me some time back and I can't take that. So that's discarded. You see nothing was the that room was empty room at the time not so much of junk that is now accumulated because of you all are so sweet and nice.
So
Then I thought about myself. Is that going to go this week? But my life seeing this this all of this was given by him. So then I thought came to my mind. I have to discard these clothes also and go by myself make it.
But how could I go and still like this? It is Not Dark Yet. How will I be able to go out like that? We're really thinking yeah, it's not proper for me to do like this. What will people think about it says still let it be little bit dark and then I will leave the place and go.
So I was sitting there waiting for putting my time all of a sudden it dawned upon me. Let's prove will go I am his how can I take myself? How will I be able to take myself which is not mine. What will happen now? How will I go at all? It was a die? Lemon of honey. I couldn't get out of this.
And when it's strep.
You've done this sort of thing is it's the Taj game started coming like that. All of a sudden. I hear somebody knocking at the door. There's a message from Bob arrest open. So I opened yes. What is it? This is Bobby wants you to have a good night's rest tonight. Keep here take food and sleep next morning. He will decide your funeral.
So when I went to eat my food had good sleep because food and sleep are really so far. They have been my constant companions make it very faithful.
And no amount of all the skin ever debar me from having a good meal or a good sleep easy it is so I had good meal good the next morning before the activity start here. Somebody brings a type sheet of paper in which he had typed out things. I don't know when you got it type. And that was the regular tour of the country all by myself and painted would be helping me.
In my journey, and when I had told us I had to go and tell people about his message of Love and Truth all over the country.
The my mind starts thinking now. So is this the way isn't it Galas? He knew that I am so tired. I didn't opt to go with him. It would have been easier for you to be with him then to go all alone like this and all over the country and do what and say what and give what what message is that we give I haven't spoken a word you see about his message or anything of the sort. I am not a speaker or saying anything like that. What?
I do so I read the cynical smile on my face. Is he this is how he keeps us.
I just kept quiet mean anything to you at the dad seemed like a worse fate worst fear of any more exhausting together for you and that he has made a mention that well. He'll give 1000 rupees to me and 1002 can do to cover up the traveling expenses. But I had to find food from those who will be our host and if they compared the pair's the railway or bus fares on think we have to accept that other than the
Not to touch money or in this earth and some other things were there to contact the Saints and must know that song.
It was good. It's not good. Not a happy friend. Yeah alternative not at all on the contrary. It was a rather cruel one. So I kept quiet and I was Baba came and I was here at the old man Ali Baba looked at me and said did you read that I said yes to do that noun no more Nos and yess is your just do that. That's final.
And I'm the one to interpret and I'm the one to listen.
So instead I didn't say anything just keep quiet. He sat down and hold her and as usual chats were there. No them after a while said did you read properly digging will stay us take it and see it son I said, yes, but I don't know what to do. You're asking me to go out in the country. But what should I do? Did you not read conscious read?
Hear you say that give my message of love and truth. I don't know what love and truth is God blessed in that. I don't know all these years. Were you living with me with your eyes shut and your shirt. Well, you're not yours open your eyes were open. Did you not see?
When should I don't know I know not. I know I don't know how to say anything. We didn't say anything some days passed by then. He said why are you feeling worried time? In the meantime? I try to read his because I had never had read this courses or rankings of so first and foremost most important thing is to find out the books. We didn't have any books here what to say now going before the public were to say and touring all over the country.
In how to draw or not Hindi was in a dilemma to because he was there at Mira Bai he was manager Lee so he had more chance of going out in the world. He was teaching at one place only chance that I had was to travel with him all over the country. But new life was the one that came were gonna burn our new life was quite different from this life that Baba wants us to lead now. This is a very difficult thing.
It's a penguin I start thinking of what to do and when to has no worry because he has not to speak. He has to only help me. Yeah, I don't know what help he had Baba had in mind but he was a great help to me. No doubt. So all that happened and I was once sitting here. This is why do you feel so worried about it first, but I don't know what I should say. You want me to go. Alright, I will go I accepted that I will go but what will I do?
He said all the kids do is to just get up and speak. I said I know but what to speak what to say all the way to do is to get up and think of me and tell me that you want me to speak now you speak and that's that's what he had to do.
Tell me that you want he tells me all that you to do is to get up.
And say you didn't myself that Baba you want me to speak so you stu.
That's all so I thought that these were words of comfort and I said well who's going to refute him his statement and the I just kept quiet.
So it went on months dragged and and he did go he did go to the west and that day we went out when doing myself to set out going out in the country. That's the story.
And you must have been just in your 30s in at that time. Probably paint and third 5216 Soul be my peace.
20 how much is it? I am a mathematician. Yeah might be 3333 know if it is 30 years ago and I am 65 now 35 so so you didn't you didn't go. No, I didn't go to the rez.
It worked. All right, I mean you just go to wherever you're Gathering. You just think love bother you speaking here and just let it flow. Let it happen the I don't know what I say, but it was good that candy was with me that it will be 2 o'clock in the night and I would be still speaking and it pulls away already see what's time is yours. Oh, yes and then him tell the other people see what are you doing? What do you all want now the crowds with you?
The program will be offered and house visits will be there and many many things happen. I'm just be yeah, but but I spoke. I don't know.
But it seemed to appeal them. I don't know what what was to happen. I don't know but one thing that is one thing that struck me most was that wherever we went we were received right royally strangest parts of the country will be Bobble beginning didn't know they had not seen baba baba was there in those places, but we were all Incognito, but he had already prepared the ground everything was
You won't believe that we are we were not allowed to use the regular toilet vessels, you know, you know because the cleaners sites you see at the time after the toilets. We were given best of the ornamented silver was was has on vessels to wash our Fannie's you things and the place that will lead. We were just Wonderstruck. What is all this?
And if I were to say some things in the meeting was held at about six o'clock say there's a public meeting done stealing. I don't know what I'm speaking and next morning. Somebody comes is here is here is what you had said a booklet printed booklet.
What did I say? Is there anything worthwhile that you printed? So these are the things but it's all his glory it reflects his glory. That's all but it's nothing. I don't have I spoken since this became a steady having people that I didn't carry all this you have no idea of her moods at the time. That's why you are asking this question. Anybody would want or give me a copy?
Who the hell cares for the copy? You see you? Okay, that's what he did. He was so tired so exhausted and we be never left alone and eventually pain do remonstrances. What is this? What are you trying to do with us? Is this the way that you want us we have to go to the next state is another place. He sees you people are already there to take us now. How will be going to o'clock in the night says? Yes. Yes, doesn't we are sorry about it. Come on now you are.
All go the hosts would say me and you go to sleep. Yo D are not sleeping. You're talking about Baba. They're asking things about Bob many things all all this that you are asking is not there, but it was in a different different facets were asked not about sex or marriage or this or that it's all on the street in India is here but different thing so that's how it is.
At the same time but same same enthusiasm same Curiosities same expectancy of wanting to hear more and more and this and that is something thing. So then the host would drive the people out exorcism peaceful Paisley need them to restaurants varies over time now to and then I haven't been to the bathroom years I had
You can tell you a funny thing later on if you count so what happened is that now we are relaxing so we have a little time.
I belong been doing grumbled a knife and he says you always take time and you do know that I I don't I want to sleep. You see why don't you wind up early and very sharp. The thing is if I don't know can do I don't mind you are with me. You should help me. I don't know anything what's happening, you know, and that would be always this tussles. Is it is for you to stop I am going to start. I don't know what I'd never begin and I never end. It's still with me. It's with you and so forth so that we are coming.
After all this hassle that is there amongst us in Gujarati and you can very easily we ask these people this is there's a brother brother. This is for you to sleep on you see and her brother pending will sleep there in a halt when we had given the talk. They would start out nice cushions and other pillows would be there and then who's going to sleep here?
Well, I would love to be in you in between you both wonderful and then I realized I had made my head there and he's there with his arm up. The then what happened after that was the again we go. It was really very once it so happened which a thought came to her mind. We were in there are doing and people
The people they they have taken a step far of Village some distant Village. I don't know where red we had reached that place at nine o'clock in the morning.
So there was a talk you wanted to hear what bothers so I gave I gave that talk whatever. They wanted to hear. And after the talk at about said 12:30 or 1 o'clock. Somebody come we are here at was summertime and we were made to stay up the Terrace, you know Terraces are there since you climbed up and it said one at least one night will be a nice night in the air. It's summertime. It's open under the sky. And so
Reminded us of a new life and all that and then what happened is that as we settle down on a car somebody comes up the steps with a brass pot. I am he begs up us to drink this hot milk and said dear you have no no thirst no appetite now because they are dad, you know, I don't know when we are taken our supper already. Very pure taken me again. I'd completely forgotten. This is no please I have come with great. Love for Bob Hope.
In the name of Mary Bubba, please drink it.
Then Deluxe and I look all right, give us those performance. We didn't have hiding have been to and man is so happy and he leaves then we of course want to Lyle no brakes and we are about to go to sleep.
And he slept but we couldn't sleep long because we get a great urge to for a toilet and he hasn't forgotten to ask those people where the toilets are you see now where to go and we can't go on sitting on the Terrace or itself until we just hurry and tend to have you gotten torture and seek attention. I can't hold anymore and I can't hold anymore - yeah.
And uh this this ball full half I took in half in with them. I'm here to find this and I still remember the great personalities having come from the godman are running from the season did not Evacuate the whole thing and he's a great Thunder. You see the hole then we went down crawling for some Stone to clean the place you see and
That's how he came that. And that was a kid. I see you right there all night. Yes even did he had no teeth with that love. So that's what happens. Love true. Love is that forces here till such time in the meantime, we were there. I don't know how many months nine months. I think what happened was the Baba met with accident to make in so my
Other related snooze three people to us. My father knew that this is there to give the address Kendall was the one who correspond to the high didn't have any time or anything or inclination. So my father cabled the mother make it serious accident. That was the only thing and that was the time when I was in amateur at the time. She was in the midst of a crowd. I heard the cable just passed it on to pain do that song.
And I continued as soon as I was meeting then Tick Tock would be over. So it was also because I announced it will we have to leave this place and we are going back to mehrabad. I didn't know what to do. We didn't have any heart to go further in the meantime pain to fill in a journey and I had to take him straight to the hospital in Pune and eventually after some days of treatment we came back.
He couldn't read over the stone in his kidney that his passing was giving the train passed through the ureter and we don't and when we return there's another cable here. I want you to go back and continue with the event again, that's how it will be continued till he came he came he returned to India and be at return to later. There was another very sensitive that the understanding was then when
We came back by the said well after some days of the bzees to know that we were tired exhausted and he said no prepared a chart from very young but I got a Bible not to was going through all that to this chart as big as this blanket Earth completely forgotten about it will be prepared that whole thing.
I had sharp memory at the time. So Bob was sitting on the floor and then you take this place and that place enough. He chalked out his items from the chart and then we went out with bird. That was the fire if you like that so that the end of it then we traveled all over the country with the same route that you just taken not same route same places that Hema he selected already big cities and small.
Small villages and whatever he wanted.
Yes, honey, tell you and he told you to go because like genuinely angry like that is the impression you got ya know how fast you better get out from Bobby go return this back and
Still I'm here. I'm wondering what crime have I committed that to be he is what are His blessings or what? Is that make that I have become the SWAT teams instead of being a Seeker here. It means that why am I here? I don't know.
It's not who am I but why am I here is the question for me?
We see I'm telling you genuinely.
So that's a story about that occasion never ever make reference to any say that again. I mean about them, you know you that did he didn't say why she come with me to America and every time
The thought did occur to me much. Hope he didn't say anything when I became the driver here in and satara while we are going down that road. Then you go to Bangalore you go by car.
You haven't been by car. You have to cross through cetera to go to Bangalore body you go by play here. But if I ever you happen to go by car you come across the site where the accident took place. Yeah, so when we accidentally kicked the thought occurred to me, why was he so insistent?
I'm a great the first passing 13. I may be wrong, but it's hot when you ask that question. I should have gone through. Maybe this would have been a while.
It's a silly thing on my part to say that but if maybe you had to have an accident with him and something is there maybe this could have been avoided I didn't know what was going through your mind when?
Cynthia Bibles and giving water to come to the United States with wanted you to come here and yet we're not able to Elena I wasn't able to be this is this instead of just totally so yeah, it was not not Disobedience, but pleading that I may not be dragged over. There is just Why does he want a person who is about to die? You see if you're trying to tell
Him to flight now, how will it be? So it was my duty to tell him that I'm I'm not able able to go. I didn't even count that this what you call the stigma of Disobedience there that it was just open confession that I am unable to go. It's not possible.
You have to really been in a state of yes. It was total exhaustion. The Eric you said you thought is this how he treats us. You said that you thought that but was there ever any answer to that question which is this how when you think is that you said you read the thing? Oh, this is how this house which have
In the mind today at that time it was at that time it was and on the day. I received the thought they'd come to me see how he knows that I am exhausted and yet he gives me this strange Journey throughout the country. Is there any ever seen any paint also that something is there any answer to that?
Any answer to Norms is a kind of ritual is it? Yeah. Just what is the answer? He didn't hear anyone say yeah, that's how he wants to be cheated. He wants to treat us that he wants he wants his way.
You say even more painting at times did in the latter part of the new life. You said you were even fainting top right to that. God did that did happen. We went in this blue bus. I was driving the bus. So we went over that stretch of Creator to towards greater or Balochistan Hindu Kush mountains.
Isn't all that correct. So at the time while it had 22 punctures mind, you just bus and there was nobody to help you with all the compliment over there of women over there. Nobody there to help the tide had to be removed had to be repaired you are you are an idea.
This Gator but bombers traveling in a smaller car Elizabeth was driving that so when Bobby would naturally the bus couldn't go with this bus heavily loaded bus and how is it possible for it to keep Pace with the car? So once I still remember when we were going through the mountain pass because the past nine with the height was so great that I think there was like you got 55 or 56
Smiles that had to be Travis as the starter 6 o'clock in the morning and he's there at six o'clock in the evening comes down and Bob are gone ahead and you're waiting for us and the car won't go always in the first second year is the first year and sold under a lot of hurdles. They were no Bridges. We are going to No Man's Land. It was just a military improvised track that they had made for the special General.
Just immediately escapable here or there you see so we are traversing that terrain with that that time bar got so upset to see what's the matter, don't you? Wow, how is it I said, wow, this is a big buzz it cannot tell you he never stopped anywhere. So at that time after all these names and functions will be there are many things happen. So when we arrived at quitter girl's father had made arrangements because he was a resident of the plane.
Has nice talk about who were trying to long time. So many days it took the best of me. Did we start from Montana? And he went right across the No Man's Land wake up. So at last we are doing all of a sudden Bauer says he wants to be created cable descent from Creator to imagine America by for those who are here wanting to know what happened to us.
Did he have arrived safely? So he is asking me to take the dictation. So I'm with paper and pencil in standing there and taking this and I don't know what happened. I just fell down and soon the any butter, then they'll of course maybe help me and all that. So that was the time when he said he was aware about my exhaustion at that time things.
And he knew we can deliver once I get totally got blind totally fly total blindness Came Upon me totally spent.
Lights showing the dolls and the Dodge was focused somewhere else. This is what's the matter with you? Why don't you pinpoint it? That's how you talk amongst ourselves. Don't you see that? I'm doing this year and I said, I don't know. I can't see anything. What do you want? See anything? Can't you focus it properly I said earlier. I lost my side. I don't know what she came for things giving Bobby.
And then lately and made me sit on a sofa and then there was pin drop silence. I still remember silence and then after about 15 minutes graduate division came back. I mean you think I was just from a state of exhaustion. I don't know. I don't know but sometimes it does happen doctor donkey was there he does happen eccentricities of body? Excuse me for the interruption.
Lexi has come from Pune broad kj/kg that she didn't get it every year. So make sure it takes him and inquired whether some of you want to go to Pune they live in Texas day if you want yourself. Yes if you don't know Susie.
So such a hazard you see of a life.
But he also is just imagine if such a thing could happen to a youngster as I am. I bald at the time he was older than I was at the time who was born in 1896. This is 14. I was born in 1916 for 20 years older than I am.
Exhaustion. So what about his travel that he wanted to travel or anything like that to tell you the truth? You see see what happens is the how he suffers for our sake to give you a picture means he didn't scare himself. So we were very short of funds of the time by these are going we had gone some Faraway place there. And for summertime the heat was too great and he have the time what had happened was.
That we had engaged a bullock cart and it took about ten duties for us to be driven by the goal of karbala to a distant Village of about 16 or 18 miles. I forget the exact number but it was between 15 18 15 16 18 like that. So we were driven and paid the money and the terrain will Terrible Terror. It was not a regular Bullock Cart Road and the ups and downs.
And all that and there he had left off the bullet car because Bob has contacted them us. Then we went inside the farms and the seller to search out the mus. So after he had finished that now see our Lord says and we are thirsty. We are tired exhausted and he said look we have got only this much money.
We can utilize it in either way that you want. He's asking us the four of us, whether if we walk the distance, then we can have a nice cool drink even soft drinks sir. But we call Sharp upon rosewater and sweet City water and ice and all that sort of thing. But week if we walk the distance as mind you that late in my the 16 miles whatever it is, but if we go in and pull up card, then nothing will come.
Portable me, which would you prefer will money's there? You have to utilize which way and what did be opted for because we will be wanted ice cold water in the Lord walk all that distance.
I didn't realize at that time around what I am trying to tell you all can meet you all that. He never said himself he rocked with us. Yeah, draal that he didn't care for that soft drink water or the the sharbat has befall it, but he walked all the distance.
It was too late for us when we realized at that time for years together. It didn't dawn upon us. But this incident is still alive it some other all these things get resurrected after October when the time comes she's looking back on the China exhausted less than that.
Looking worse. Yeah. Yeah. Listen all you have all this comes up because it's like you're all the it becomes lying and then we learned lessons from now so that just for a sweet glass sweet dream. You made the Lord walk all the time and he accepted. All right, let's go then let's warm it. Is he still having the comfort of umbilical?
Carly a few times that anyone has ever said the comfort of a book
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